Bang Bang Bang It’s Santa

Bang Bang Bang Its Santa

Everyone loves Santa, well not everyone. I thought Santa went “HO HO HO.” These Santas go “Bang Bang Bang” as they shoot to kill. This has happened several times and is well documented.

Bang Bang Bang in Texas in 2011

On Christmas day, Santa walks into an apartment where his separated wife and two kids were living. He wasn’t there to bring happiness and joy, he was there to bring death. It was a 56-year-old Iranian named Aziz who was dressed in a Santa suit.

Evidently, he was allowed to enter the apartment under the assumption that he was just there to celebrate Christmas with his family. Aziz had other plans. After everyone opened their gifts, he pulled out a handgun and started shooting. Santa even called 911 and told them that he was killing people. The 911 operator could hear people screaming in the background as they were being gunned down. Aziz, then he shot himself, “HO HO HO.” A total of 7 people were killed while standing around the Christmas tree.

Bang Bang Bang in California in 2008

Yes, it happened again, this time in Covina California. This time 9 people lost their lives as Santa pulled out two guns and a homemade flame thrower. It was 45-year-old Bruce Jeffrey Pardo, dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He had just gone through a divorce a week earlier.

Jeffery showed up at the door with a suspicious-looking wrapped gift which turned out to be guns and a flamethrower. He started shooting and later set the entire place on fire using his flamethrower filled with racing fuel. Some of his victims were shot while others died in the fire. There were about 25 people at the party, and some of them got away with just injuries.

Jeffery left the scene and was later found dead with a self-inflicted shot to the head.

Santa Strikes Again

This time it was 2012, in Israel. Two men dressed as Santa. The motive involved a property dispute between the Abu Mana family and the Jaffa Orthodox Church Association. There were a parade and two men dressed as Santa started stalking Gabriel Cadis, the leader of the church.

They followed him into a parking lot and forced him into his car and stabbed him in the back two times, where he later died. The crime was caught on a surveillance video and the two men dressed as Santa was caught and prosecuted.

Santa kills early, this time on Halloween

Maybe you were thinking that Santa only kills during the Christmas holidays, but no. Santa is also very busy on Halloween. Austin Texas, Halloween night, there was a party and Randall Gaston Jones thought it would be a good idea to get drunk and kill some of his friends.

He was told to go to bed because he was too drunk to continue to party. It was his party, yes, he was actually the host of the event. I guess he didn’t appreciate being told what to do in his own home. He went into his bedroom and got his gun. Randall returned to his guest and started spraying bullets. HO HO HO, Look! Santa is back! Michael McCloskey, one of Santa’s friends died at the scene. The police took Jones into custody.

Santa makes a withdrawal at a Cisco, Texas bank

The problem is, Santa didn’t have an account, so he used a gun to rob the bank of $12,000 in cash. This was a lot of money in 1927 when the robbery occurred. On December 23rd, 1927 Marshall Ratliff dressed as Santa walked into the bank and started shooting. He and some of his helper elves sprayed the bank with more than 200 holes. When the smoke cleared, three people were killed.

Santa and his helper elves took two female hostages and tried to drive away. The police were hot on their trail. Santa, A.K.A MArshall Ratliff was captured and pleaded insanity. This makes perfect sense, you would have to be completely nuts to rob a bank dressed as Santa.

Back in 1927, Texans didn’t call 911, they often took things into their own hands. Some of the townspeople broke Ratliff out of jail and lynched him. “HO HO HO”

London England, 2005 Santa Strikes Again

Gun laws are very strict in London, in fact, most police don’t even carry guns there. But don’t pout, Santa will find a way to kill. A man dressed in a Santa entered 25-year-old Sikandar Shaheen’s apartment and stabbed him to death. The neighbors reported hearing screams. One person saw Santa leaving the scene and gave chase, but as you know, Santa has those pesky reindeer who can fly, so he escaped.

The police didn’t have any clues about why this crime occurred. I expect that Sikandar Shaheen was on the naughty list. Santa left behind a red hat and a fake beard. Some people claim that this was not real Santa.

A Ho Ho Holdup Dec 22, 2009 in Nashville, TN.

Santa entered the SunTrust Bank in Nashville, Tennessee at 10 am. He was wearing dark sunglasses and demanded money at gunpoint. Santa claimed that he needed money to pay his elves.

Santa had the bank employees fill his big toy sack, then he left and got into a gray car. You would think with all of the work Santa has to do each year, just getting all the toys made, he wouldn’t have the time or energy to rob banks.

Merry Christmas Colorado Springs 2019

Santa robs a bank using a gun, then he walks out into the street and starts throwing the money all over the place yelling “Merry Christmas.” 65-year-old David Wayne Oliver was arrested without incident. From what I can tell, Santa was just tired of paying rent and probably needed someplace to live. I’m sure the government will grant him his wish.

A newspaper accidentally advertised that kids could take pictures with SATAN

You can imagine the shock on people’s faces when they read this advertisement. It was November 21st and the Comox Valley Record printed the ad but misspelled “Santa” It’s just two letters reversed that turns Santa into Satan. Maybe that explains all of the crimes involving Santa.

Not letting this opportunity go to waste, one man dressed as Satan and took pictures with families at the town parade on December 1st.

Santa Accused of Using A Counterfeit Bill

Santa sure gets into a lot of trouble. This time it wasn’t a person dressed as Santa, it was actually a person named “Jaret Santa.” It seems that Santa did a little Christmas shopping and tried to pass a fake $100 bill at T.G.I Fridays. He was caught trying to buy a gift certificate at the restaurant.

According to the Boynton Beach Police Department. Santa was booked at the Palm Beach County Jail on a charge of possessing a forged instrument. His bond was set at $3,000. I am just wondering if he paid the bail in $100 bills. HO HO HO.

New York SantaCon 2013 street fight.

SantaCon is a multicity celebration where people dressed as Santa get together and often do things that are not socially acceptable, and sometimes not legal. Usually, this involves getting drunk in public. In 2013 a street fight involving dozens of Santas broke out. You can just imagine the questions that kids might have about this. Mommy? Why are there so many Santas, and why are they fighting each other?

There are many videos on You-Tube regarding SantaCon. I don’t recommend watching them with your children unless you are at that point where you want to expose the Santa Claus theory.