In a world where there was no Internet, no video games, no smartphones. A world where kids roamed unchecked and mostly ignored. A world where everything was possible, only limited to the imagination of kids. A world remembered by every man and woman past the age of 65. A world where morals were established by living examples.
Yes folks, I'm talking about planet earth in the 1960s
A long long time ago, back before caller ID, where a child could entertain themselves for hours by placing prank phone calls. “Is your refrigerator running? Well, you better go and catch it.”
Prank calls like: “Mr. Smith, we have your son hostage, and unless you run around the block butt naked, we are going to kill him.”
The horror of prank phone calls, where there were no checks and balances. A time when no one ever got caught, simply because the technology of tracing a call didn’t exist.
A time when you could order your next-door neighbor a dozen pizzas, then sit on the front porch and watch the fun. Those days are gone now, and probably never coming back. Children of today couldn’t even imagine the possibilities we had during those years.
Back then, you could do just about anything to other people without repercussions. It was like the wild wild west during the frontier days., except we had indoor plumbing.
What do you want to do today billy?
Do you want to throw rocks at each other? We can use those metal trashcan lids as shields. That sounds like a great idea! Let’s spend the next hour piling up a group of rocks, then we can have a rock war, complete with real injuries. Back then, when you got hurt, which was often, you couldn’t simply call for help. You had to walk home, bleeding all the way.
There were no corner emergency centers like we have today, no you had to just heal on your own, or spend the next twelve hours at the hospital waiting for your turn to see the doctor. It was not uncommon for the doctor to ask “how did this happen?” “I got hit in the face with a rock traveling about 60 miles per hour.”
Hey, lets ring doorbells and run!
No, we did that last week. But wait, what if we do it a different way.” Let’s walk around the block, picking up as much dog shit as we can find, and put it into a paper bag. You see my little creepies, back then, no one ever thought to pick up their dog’s dodo as polite social behavior, no, back then, if your neighbor saw you bending over to pick up dog shit, they would call the police on you. Obviously, you are up to something that is probably against the law.
Anyway, we can walk around the block and gather as much dog crap as we can find, and we could usually completely fill up a grocery bag full. Then we go over to Mr. Jones’s house and put the sack of shit on the front porch and light it on fire, ring the bell, then run like hell.
Mr. Jones will answer the door to a blazing bag of shit, and start stomping on it to extinguish the fire, splattering feces from one side of the porch to the other, and in the process ruining his best pair of shoes.
What do you want to do today Timmy?
Another meaning of the phrase: “What do you want to do” is “Let’s see how much damage we can inflict on our neighbors.”
Hey look, across the street, Mr. Jones left his shoes on the front porch again. Probably because they are still recovering from stomping the bad of shit.”
Timmy says, “So?” “So we just got groceries and guess what we have? We have one of those giant bottles of Aunt Jemima pancake syrup. What if we sneak over and pour a cup of molasses into each shoe? That would be great fun! Then we can sit on our porch and watch his expression as he puts his shoes on.”
Yes folks, before the internet and video games, we had to invent “fun things to do.” You will notice a common thread of using fire, shit, and destruction in our thought process.
Hey Sammy, what do you want to do today?
My dad bought a new room heater and gave me the box! “So?” “Well, why don’t we put the box over that fire hydrant, and tell Billy that we are having a kicking contest? Whoever can kick the box the farthest wins! We will let Billy go first.
You see folks whenever we suffered injury or humiliation, we didn’t tell our parents, or call the cops, we just got even. It was an ongoing series of creating havoc.
I remember getting a big styrofoam airplane
This thing had a six-foot wing span. It was so big, that it was hard to throw. We usually had to find a cliff to throw it off of.
I remember thinking, “I bet this could hold up a person and let them fly.” I wasn’t completely convinced, but the concept sounded sound at the time. I remember sharing my idea with Bobby, my next-door neighbor friend. At the time we were both 7 years old. Neither one of us was brave enough to jump off the cliff holding on to the airplane, but Bobby had a little brother named, Joey, who was about 4 years old. He’s much small and lighter, and as it turns out dumber too. I bet he could fly! Let’s try it out!”
Well, after the flying experiment, my airplane and Joey were both broken. It turns out, Issac Newton was correct about that gravity thing., “What goes up, must come down” It was a good thing the cliff was only about six feet high, but back then, it seemed like a mountain.
Here are a few interesting facts for you to consider.
While growing up in the 60s I learned a lot of interesting facts. I will let your imagination run wild. as you try to understand how this secret knowledge was used in forming entertaining pranks.
Did you know:
- When you add sugar to mud, you can make cookies that people will probably eat.
- Gluing a shiny penny to the floor can provide hours of entertainment.
- Pizza parlors will send out 10 or more pizzas if you tell them it’s a birthday party.
- A typical school locker will hold up to 2700 ping pong balls.
- A big box and steep staircase can offer a rollercoaster experience at home.
- Signs that used changeable letters can offer some interesting messages.
- Honking the horn can get mom to throw an entire bag of groceries into the air.
- Frosting on a brick can look like a real cake.
- Throwing a handful of M&Ms into the air in a dark theatre can liven up any boring movie.
- A can of compressed air and an airhorn can liven up any funeral.
- A dozen helium balloons taped together in a circle make a great-looking UFO.
- Bringing a two-iron to a mini golf course can be interesting.
Hey Johnny, what do you want to do today?
Let’s have a contest. Who can run the fastest with their eyes closed? Here’s a good way to take a few days off from school. Resulting usually in broken bones or a severely sprained ankle. Remember, we didn’t have the internet for entertainment so we had to invent exciting challenges to pass the time away. Anything that ended in a surprise was exhilarating. There is nothing quite like watching your friend fun full speed into the side of a house or trip over a curb.
We didn’t have video cameras back then, so we are only left with our memories.
What my brother did to me
I was five and he was fifteen. We shared a room and had bunk beds. He was mad because I got to sleep on the lower bed. He used a marker to draw scary eyes on the slats of the upper bunk. These eyes stared at me all night long, every night for several years. Once I turned the slats over to hide the eyes, so he drew more eyes on both sides. By the time he moved out of the house three years later, there were dozens of eyeballs, and scary clown faces looking down at me. Maybe that is why I am the Master of Creep.
Another incident between me and my brother happened about 10 years later. It was on Friday the thirteenth. My brother called me on the phone and asked me what I was doing. He then proceeded to tell me about a scary movie called “The Hand” that was produced in 1960. Well, this movie was on TV in 1969. So I started watching it. My brother got into his car and drove over to my house, which was about 30 minutes away. He had a key so he let himself in. I thought I was the only person in the house. He snuck up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. It was during the part of the movie where this hand was crawling around on its own.
I sprang out of my chair and threw popcorn all over the living room. When a family member spends that much effort to scare the shit out of you, then you know you are loved.
We scared Timmy's mother
Timmy’s grandfather died, so Timmy and his family had to travel about 100 miles to the funeral. When he got back home he told me about the conversation during the car ride. It seems that Grandpa told his daughter (Timmy’s Mother) that if he could come back from the dead, he would, just to prove that there really is a heaven.
So Timmy’s mother was already looking for unusual signs of an afterlife. This gave us the perfect opportunity to make GrandPa reappear from the dead.
We tied several strands of black thread to a rocking chair in the living room. We ran the thread in such a way that we could pull on it, and make the chair start rocking.
Everyone was sitting in the living room talking about GrandPa, and Timmy started pulling on the hidden thread and the rocking chair started rocking.
His mother came unglued at the sight of the rocking chair rocking away. It was such a strong reaction that Timmy was afraid to tell his mom that it was just a trick. He probably thought that she would kill him. As far as I know, she never learned the truth about that day.
4th of July was always a special day
When we were about 12 years old, we actually played with firecrackers and bottle rockets. Yes, our parents let us play with gunpowder and matches, what could possibly go wrong?
Can you just imagine what bored 12-year-olds could do with firecrackers? Of course, we lit them and threw them at each other. One day I discovered it would be great fun to tape firecrackers to record albums and toss them into the air and watch them explode. Do you know how far you can throw an album into the air? I would estimate about 100 feet or more.
Then our parents would wonder where all of their record albums are. Of course, we just shrugged our shoulders.
Thank you for allowing me to travel down memory lane. I know this episode is a little different from the usually creepy stuff I talk about. Don’t worry, we will bring you more haunting, creepy content next week on the Creepy Show Podcast.