VooDoo Road Rage Curse

VooDoo

My name is Mark and in 2017 I was cursed by a voodoo witch while traveling through Louisiana. I was taking my family on a vacation and we were driving from Houston Texas to Walt Disney World in Orlando Florida.

This was a 965-mile drive and we expected to be on the road for a minimum of 13 hours of driving. That’s OK because we have plenty of time, and actually I was looking forward to getting out of town and enjoying the road trip.

My family consists of my wife, Susan, and our eight-year-old twin boys, Bobby and Jack. We planned on breaking up the long drive by stopping and spending the night in New Orleans, and Tallahassee. Since I was traveling with a couple of 8-year-olds, I didn’t want to spend more than 5-hours in the car each day.

Road Rage in Lafayette

On our first day of driving, we planned to stop in New Orleans. This was going to be about 5 hours of driving. Along the way, we had to go through Lafayette. We stopped at the Children’s Museum of Acadiana and spend a few hours walking around.

As we were pulling out of the museum parking lot, a car ran right up on us from behind and skidded on their breaks. Then the car whipped around us and almost ran me off the road. We both had to stop at a red light, so I rolled down my window and yelled at the lady who was driving. “Watch what the hell you are doing, learn how to drive!”

The lady driver of the other car rolled down her window and started yelling back at me. She was a very large black woman, and she was pissed off. She started chanting some kind of voodoo chant. Something about me having twenty-four hours of pure hell. She was hard to understand because she had a heavy Cajun accent.

She whipped out a smartphone and took a picture of me. I assumed it was to plaster my photo all over Facebook and publicly humiliate me, or something like that.

The light turned green and I drove away. I could see her in my rearview mirror, and she was taking pictures of the back of my car. I assume it was to get my license plate number.

Susan, my wife said, just forget about her, let’s just get on the road again.

Getting pulled over by the police.

It just so happened that a police car near, and the policeman saw the entire incident. He pulled the other car over, and I decided to stop too. We were both on the side of the road, and the policeman went up to the window of the other car and started talking to the lady.

After a few minutes, he walked up to my window and started talking to me. The cop said “Man, that is one pissed off lady. She claims that you pulled out in front of her and she had to slam on her breaks in order to stop”

“She said that she put a voodoo curse on you, something about having twenty-four hours of bad luck. I said “Great, just what I need” The cop and I both laughed a little bit. He said, “Well, there was no accident, so just be careful and have a nice day”

We put the VooDoo lady in our rear-view mirror.

I joked with my wife, I guess I’ll have a really bad day soon. It’s a good thing that I don’t believe in the kind of crap. We continued on our vacation and had a lot of fun. I had forgotten all about the VooDoo lady and curse until I was traveling back through Lafayette.

I said to my wife, “Remember this town? This is where that crazy lady put a voodoo curse on me.” We both laughed about it and continued back to our home in Houston.

About three weeks after our vacation, I get a Facebook “Friend Request” from Julie. I had no idea who this person was, but they did look familiar. I get friend requests all the time so I didn’t think much about it. I just approved the request.

September 13th 2017. The worst day of my life.

It was on a Wednesday and the day started at 5:53 AM. I remember the time because I got an incredibly painful Charley Horse in my left leg. I rolled around in paid for a good 2 minutes, then it finally went away. I haven’t had one of those in years.

Since I usually get up for work at 7 AM, I decided to just stay awake. I got on my computer and tried to check my email, however, my computer was doing some kind of Internet update and it wouldn’t let me log on.

I went down the hall toward the kitchen to get my first cup of coffee. The hall was dark and I and slipped and fell on the floor. I noticed a horrible smell. I just stepped in the middle of a pile of dog shit, and when I fell I got it all over my back.

I jumped into the shower as quickly as I could to clean up and was blasted by freezing cold water. I had no choice, I didn’t have time to let the water warm up because I was covered in dog crap. I just wanted to get this smell off of me.

I finally got cleaned up and dressed and went out to my car and found that I had a flat tire. Oh great, just what I need. I looked in the trunk and found my spare, but it was also flat.

I knew I had to get to work and didn’t have time to mess with my car, so I called an Uber driver and got to work. I arrived at work just in time to attend a very important meeting.

I lost my job.

The management wanted to talk to all of the employees in my department, and that is when I found out that our company was bought out by a larger company, and they didn’t need our department anymore. So in other words I was out of a job.

I cleared out my desk and got another Uber Driver to get a ride back home, by then it was about 1:00 PM. I finally got on my computer and looked at my email. I noticed that I had received a package from Amazon. Finally, my new fishing reel had been delivered. I went out to the front porch to get my new reel, but it was gone. Someone had stolen my package.

I just need a little time to relax, so I decided to watch TV. I popped some popcorn and bit down on a seed and cracked my tooth. I still had a flat tire to deal with, so I went into the garage and got Jack’s bicycle air pump, I wanted to see if I could get enough air in my tire to drive it to the tire store. I didn’t want to have to change it myself. As I bent over to attach the air pump, my iPhone fell out of my shirt pocket and hit the pavement. Sure enough, the screen was cracked.

My wife got home from work, and she stopped off at the mailbox and got the mail. I received a letter from the Harris County Tax office, which stated that my house was undervalued for the past three years, and they wanted me to pay an additional $643 in back taxes.

That night at dinner, I was telling Susan, my wife about the really bad day I was having, then suddenly I started choking. I thought I was going to die! Susan came around behind me did the Heimlich Maneuver (Hymlick). A piece of chicken flew out of my mouth and I gasped for air. I noticed that I was in a lot of pain, and I think she might have broken one of my ribs.

I was ready for this day to end.

It was starting to get dark and I couldn’t wait for the day to end. This has been a really bad day. I hot a Charlie horse, stepped in dog shit, had a freezing cold shower, a flat time, lost my job, lost my fishing reel, broke my tooth, broke my phone, got a new tab bill, and almost choked to death, all in the past 24 hours.

Before I went to bed I logged into Facebook and got a message from Julie. Now I remember who she was. She was the VooDoo lady from Lafayette. She took my picture and another picture of the back of my car. She must have my license plate number because she tracked me down on Facebook.

Julie send me a direct message and asked me how my “Bad Luck Day” was going. Then she used an emoji of a little smiley face winking at me.

I Immediately un-friended her, I didn’t want to get into any arguments with her. I just wanted her to go away.

Now I am a believer of VooDoo curses.

After September 13, 2017, I am a true believer in VooDoo. This is something that you don’t want to mess with. Looking back on this, I am just happy that the VooDoo lady only cursed me for a day, and not for a whole week.

If someone puts a VooDoo curse on you, I recommend just staying in bed until the curse ends.